a few new thoughts- very few

i was corresponding with a musician youtuber with over 20,000 subscribers. i asked her my art vs. entertainment question. she had some really interesting things to say, but the one that really sticks with me is that art lies in the performance. that's really interesting to me because my thoughts have focused on the creation and intent. it's been so long since i have been able to do live performance music that it didn't even occur to me that it should be part of the formula. so that adds a new dimension to the mix.

i wrote a song for a wonderful vlogger named "elmify". if you are reading this and you haven't seen her videos, stop reading this and go watch her videos.

ok, now that you've seen how smart and funny and endearing and satirical she is, you can see why i had to write a song, yes? so should that song be considered entertainment or art? it came from the heart but it's really just a bunch of clever lines based on someone else's talent. i don't know.

anyway, elmify herself really enjoyed the song and i'm watching myself sort of gush as i read and reread her comments and email. and i think to myself,"wtf?" this is almost worse than when lizz from sistersalad subbed my channel. i mean, what is this need to be appreciated by people i admire. and then i realized, this is totally a midbrain thing. it is in part about achieving status by being associated with those higher up in the heirarchy. or at least i think that's the biological roots of it.

still don't have my computer back. still don't know if all my music from the last 3 years will be lost. i'm surprisingly calm all things considered. i think it's because i have an mp3 copy of many of them on a little mp3 player. while it won't be the quality of the original, i can still use it to make videos.

i will be sad when work really gets cranking again in a couple of weeks. i didn't get to do nearly as much music as i wanted to this summer. well, i suppose i'll just have to pull some all nighters like those that inspired "shuffle".